The instructor in a class I attended this evening mentioned the loss of the "corporate memory" in the unexpected loss of a mentor and business associate. I've heard the term before, related to the loss of corporate memory associated with the high turn-over in highly skilled jobs due to corporate mergers and acquisitions. I actually feel quite strongly about the loss of that long-term-experience and how it negatively affects the growth of companies and businesses since people tend to no longer be in one position long enough to gather corporate memory to pass along to younger colleagues, subsequently resulting in an increase of duplicate effort, repeats of past mistakes.... you get the picture.
But what about "life-lesson memory" that used to be shared among generations, passed down from grandad to son to grandson.... from grandma to daughter to granddaughter? Those might be practical (woodworking, sewing, cooking, gardening), or more esoteric (love of adventure, appreciation for nature, joy of creation). Retirement communities often "contain" the grandparents today, the parents are locked into highly scheduled days of work and activities, and the children are firmly segregated in their classrooms to only have contact with others of exactly their same age. These factors play a critical role in the loss of "life-lesson memory" that used to be shared so routinely. Multi-generational households may not be practical today, and I'm not advocating a return to the one-room schoolhouse, but my own life experiences argue in favor of a closer, more intimate sharing of time and experience between ages and generations to the benefit of all.
Due to the vagaries of war, I grew up never knowing the presence of a grandparent in my life, other than for a brief time via letters (y'remember?....ink on white paper, placed in an envelope with a stamp that you lick to activate the glue (yuck!), and then wait for days or weeks for it to be delivered and to receive a response in the same format). My life felt complete, because I didn't know any different.
When I had children, my parents and those of my husband were there and available to fill the role of grandparents that I couldn't even picture. What a revelation! My teen years and early adulthood were filled with love for my parents but also typical (I think) anger and frustration and pulling away from them to become ME, rather than a clone or the "perfect" child. Then, all of a sudden (well...almost...after hours of labor...), my parents became supporters, babysitters, spoilers of grandchildren, passers-on of family lore and long-forgotten games and treats of childhood. They became our friends! The ones who helped us nurture, love, protect, and TEACH our children. And the kids - how they adored the visits from grandparents, or visiting grandparents at their homes. The cookies, the treats, the spoiling! We saw our parents in a different light, and I suspect they saw us in a very different light as well. We valued stale family stories in a different way, reveled in the times we could share, in seeing our children playing on the beaches and fields of our own childhoods. We gained a sense of the importance and value of continuity...continuity of memories, of skills and hobbies as we watched our parents sharing those things with our children.
Today I am at that potentially-grandparent age, with adult children but no grandchildren. In a sense, I have been fortunate to be "adopted" by a family living a few houses down. Their oldest son has become my "slave labor" - helping me in in my greenhouse and garden; his sisters have begun to visit me for quilting lessons, a delight that I cannot begin to explain, since I love sewing (quilting in particular) and have never had daughters with whom to share that love (my sons are remarkable, wonderful, kind, talented men, but sewing has never been high on their list of interests, perhaps not surprisingly); the younger siblings of my "adopted" family like to tag along and explore my garden and my house, a never-ending flitting from one exciting find to another, as young children are wont to do, forgetting to call me Mrs. Greenfield, and instead blurting out "Grandma" periodically, since I fit the mold, I assume.
And I? I delight in the opportunity to pass on gardening information and experience to my young gardening-slave-apprentice. I revel in the excitement of his sisters as they learn a new sewing skill and discover the joys of designing and creating warm and snuggly quilts for their family to use. And I am renewed by the unbridled joy and curiousity of the youngest siblings, reminding me whenever they are around, that even the things I take for granted are new in their eyes, and perhaps should be in mine as well.
I am blessed to be in a position to pass along some "life-lesson memory" to an appreciative audience.
Who is benefiting from your life-lessons? If not immediate family or neighbors, are there community groups, school groups to share with? I guarantee, your time and effort will be well-spent, well-appreciated, and most rewarding!
